The Lord Shanley Cup

So last night was my company's non-denominational fourth quarter kick-off gathering:

Holiday party...

A little background on previous non-holiday parties

Usually held at Clery's, a fabulously good times bar where most patrons are semi- to all the way- black out drunk. Last years party kept up with the bars standards. One co-worker stumbled his way into the kitchen and peed in the restaurant's kitchen sink. Another peed himself, then showed up to work in the exact same piss spoked suit. Another got hit by a car and seriously needed medical attention. A different told off his boss (always a company favorite, He no longer works here.) One stole a fur coat, put it on, hopped over the bar, and began taking/making orders. and a lot of last years were lost to blacken minds.

So, in preparation for the s* show, the veteran employees (people who have been to a holiday party before) place bets on all the employees (mostly the rookies) for two awards, Most Drunk and the Dark Horse. The awards can be won my anyone. The Most Drunk... is well, the most drunk. And the Dark Horse is the person you wouldn't expect to get smashed but goes wayyyyyy overboard, and no one saw it coming, thus the Dark Horse.

So this year, the renounding winner of both, the Most Drunk and the Dark Horse was our fellow co-worker, Shanley. Last year, he's the guy who pissed in the bar's kitchen sink and last year, won Dark Horse. This year based on last years post-holiday ridicule. No one thought he'd repeat the embarrassing behavior, but no. He did.

The party started at 5, but Shanley didn't get there till 6:30-ish. The rest of the crew was loosy goosy ordering generously on the company's tab. Shanley shows up starts ordering drinks like the rest of us. No big deal. By 7:30 he was spitting on the bar's floor, fireman hose pissing, head nod-sleep nods (that 'I'm falling asleep at the bar, shit. wake-up.' head jerk... watch for it's great). By 8, he was passed out on the Men's bathroom floor.

In an attempt to help our limpless co-worker, a few tried to put in a cab. Three cab's refused him. When asked: "Where do you?"

"Fuck You!"

So again trying to help, went thru his phone...

"Don't call my Mom!!"

Oh yes, he lives at home. I would have paid money to see the face on her face when she peeled her drunk-ass son out of cab. So Proud of you baby boy.

In honor of his 2nd Dark Horse victory, the Dark Horse reign is over... it is now The Lord Shanley Cup.