Hire an Interior Designer

Some woman have a natural knack for interior design, while others think they do.  I'll let you determine which type of woman you are.  

I have zero ability.  When I think of the thousands of hours, I've watched HGTV it should second nature, but no.  I walk into Home Goods, IKEA, Marshalls, Pottery Barn, Bed Bath & Beyond, etc. and see all the beautifully designed rooms and I think: I can do that! 

Lots of money later, my house looks nothing like the 'inspiration' room.  I am crushed.  I failed.  

Then on one fortuitous day, I met an interior designer.  

She was working part time at West Elm to keep the discount and meet new clients.  She was awesome.  

One evening, she came over our house and met with us.  She asked basic questions like, what colors do you like?  How much is the budget?  Which rooms do you want designed?  Then she gave us homework, look at pictures on the internet and find rooms you like and email them to me.  Simple enough. 

(I was really nervous about the budget conversation.  Honestly, I was scared she would quote us thousands of dollars.  We did not have thousands of dollars.  She explained she could work in a few different ways: 

     Option 1: We could hire her either hourly or the whole project.  
     Option 2: She could design a sketch and then give us the floor plan, sketch, colors, fabric, and instructions.  
     Option 3: She would do all the shopping, arranging, and soup to nuts finish the project.  

For most people, I think Option 2 is a great idea.)

We emailed her and from those pictures, she understood our style.  Many conversations later and about 4 months of enhancements, we had our home.  

Home.  

It takes awhile before a house feels like a home.  With her help, design, and vision she turned my feeble attempts into something real.  We are so happy and yes, Hiring an Interior Designer was the Best Money I Ever Spent. 

Hire a Housekeeper

As I sit here, two wonderful people are cleaning my house.  We live in a modest 700 square foot condo that we could easily clean ourselves.  Actually, we have been cleaning for the 18 months we've lived here.  

Every time, the cleaning episode would start the same way... me freaking out, shouting orders, scurrying from room to room, making piles, grabbing the vacuum, and ultimately both of us miserable until the tasks were complete.  The choirs of course are the usual, vacuum, dust, wood polish, mop floor, and pretty the house.  

Well...I am ashamed and embarrass to admit.  After watching the two people currently cleaning, I know nothing.  Their version of vacuum and my version are miles apart.  For example, I vacuum the rug and voila, pat on back, I'm done.  They vacuumed the couch, pillows, window sil, the rug, all the corners, the shelves, the tv, the bookshelves, literally an hour of vacuuming.  

That is just the beginning of cleaning story, but I won't bore you with my schooling lesson.  

So without hesitation, hiring a housekeeper is The Best Money I Ever Spent. 

The Lord Shanley Cup

So last night was my company's non-denominational fourth quarter kick-off gathering:

Holiday party...

A little background on previous non-holiday parties

Usually held at Clery's, a fabulously good times bar where most patrons are semi- to all the way- black out drunk. Last years party kept up with the bars standards. One co-worker stumbled his way into the kitchen and peed in the restaurant's kitchen sink. Another peed himself, then showed up to work in the exact same piss spoked suit. Another got hit by a car and seriously needed medical attention. A different told off his boss (always a company favorite, He no longer works here.) One stole a fur coat, put it on, hopped over the bar, and began taking/making orders. and a lot of last years were lost to blacken minds.

So, in preparation for the s* show, the veteran employees (people who have been to a holiday party before) place bets on all the employees (mostly the rookies) for two awards, Most Drunk and the Dark Horse. The awards can be won my anyone. The Most Drunk... is well, the most drunk. And the Dark Horse is the person you wouldn't expect to get smashed but goes wayyyyyy overboard, and no one saw it coming, thus the Dark Horse.

So this year, the renounding winner of both, the Most Drunk and the Dark Horse was our fellow co-worker, Shanley. Last year, he's the guy who pissed in the bar's kitchen sink and last year, won Dark Horse. This year based on last years post-holiday ridicule. No one thought he'd repeat the embarrassing behavior, but no. He did.

The party started at 5, but Shanley didn't get there till 6:30-ish. The rest of the crew was loosy goosy ordering generously on the company's tab. Shanley shows up starts ordering drinks like the rest of us. No big deal. By 7:30 he was spitting on the bar's floor, fireman hose pissing, head nod-sleep nods (that 'I'm falling asleep at the bar, shit. wake-up.' head jerk... watch for it's great). By 8, he was passed out on the Men's bathroom floor.

In an attempt to help our limpless co-worker, a few tried to put in a cab. Three cab's refused him. When asked: "Where do you?"

"Fuck You!"

So again trying to help, went thru his phone...

"Don't call my Mom!!"

Oh yes, he lives at home. I would have paid money to see the face on her face when she peeled her drunk-ass son out of cab. So Proud of you baby boy.

In honor of his 2nd Dark Horse victory, the Dark Horse reign is over... it is now The Lord Shanley Cup.